Sunday, August 16, 2009

And this is how you'll be remembered...

I've been spending the last few days cataloging the hundreds (if I were honest about it, I'd say at least 1000) of cards that I've received over the past few months. The process would go much faster if I would just do it when the cards came in, but with life going as it does, it is rarely convenient to do it then, so all the cards get stacked higher and higher and take over the home office.

While checking cards against my database, my eyes started to notice something a little strange. Some players have just about the worst possible pose on their baseball cards. What's worse, in my estimation, is the fact that card photographers take tons of pictures of the players, and out of those hundreds of photos, they chose THESE to go on the cards...

Carlos Baerga ducks out of the way of an errant ball, and is immortalized in a pose that his mother wishes never happened:

Even Super Joe Charboneau got caught while he was evidently concentrating on a very tight pitch (at least from this angle):

As I started thinking more and more about these, there was one card that is forever burned into the retinas of my eyes. It is this card of Dennis Cook. Really? THIS is the picture you want on the back of your baseball card?

Felix Fermin shows off his best "Karate Kid" move and it is recorded then plastered on Pinnacle baseball cards for all-time. Wonderful.

While not quite as bad as some of the others, Jacoby clearly believes he is safe, safe by a mile. His contorted, angered face says it all...

The front of the next one shows Dennis Martinez taking batting practice. That's a safe picture. What is not safe is the picture on the BACK of the card. I don't know which is worse - Martinez or the woman cowering in fear in the background. She probably ducks in tunnels, too...

Even my favorite player, Jim Thome, cannot escape the humility of the camera lens. Here he is, sliding into base, and it is one of the ugliest pictures out there. Add in a little snow and one of those round sleds and you've got a poorly designed Currier and Ives...

The moral of the story here, kids, is that you should always be aware of what you're doing on or near the field. Because if you're doing something that causes you to look like an idiot, that will end up as your baseball card....


  1. And that umpire is throwing a haymaker at Jacoby. Wonder how that turned out?

  2. That's funny. Each photo got progressively funnier.

    "...she probably ducks in tunnels too." That's too rich. Every photo was good, my favorite is the Dennis Cook one.

  3. Can't ignore the Dennis Cook. At least they didn't put it on the front of the card! Can you say Class Clown?

  4. When I saw the first card in the post I knew that the Dennis Cook had to be coming. For some reason that sticks out in my head.

    Great post. I'm glad you pointed out the woman cowering behind the net. That's hilarious.

  5. I think every Indians card collector who has been doing so for any length of time has probably seen the Cook card, and most likely owns it. It's like the relative no one sits by at the reunion...

  6. Dennis Cook remind me of Wilhelm Klink in that photo. Good stuff!