'Twas the night before Opening Day, when all through cyberspace
Not a player was stirring, not even whats-his-face;
The managers hung by their monitors with care,
In hopes that Pack-a-Daily soon would be on air;
The preseason drafts were all put to bed;
While visions of pack-busting danced in managers' heads;
And Jennings64 with her 'kerchief, and wearing a cap,
Had just settled in after a long winter's nap,
When out on the field Erin Rose made a clatter,
Alec's All-Stars sprang up to see what was the matter.
Away to the press box Tribecards flew like a flash,
Tore open the wax packs and threw out the trash.
Arpsmith was hoping to pull JT Snow,
Of course, he'd take Bonds if he had to, you know,
When what to Backstop Cards did appear,
But Crime Dog McGriff or maybe George Foster, I hear,
With a little Bo Rosny so lively and quick,
Snagged Jeter and Pettitte and A-Rod as picks.
Captain Canuck was back in the game,
And he whistled, and shouted, and chose ol' Smoltzy again.
Now, CaptKirk42s and FDNY and SuperChickens!
(Hey, I didn't make up these names. I swear to the Dickens!)
East Virginia Mutts and Enamel Rods, we will call!
Erin Rose and GCRL - we'll all have a ball!
As Idaho Astros and Jafronius try,
To pull cards from packs that will send their teams sky high;
Joliet Convicts and Jacksonville Jobu
With their hopes full of cards filled with the mojo too.
And then, in the Circus, Kazis raise up the roof
Kentucky Quarrys and Maddings yell, "pudding is proof!"
As Nachos Grandes drew cards, Hadsalls hit on the ground,
And Night Owls hoped Rollins would soon make the rounds.
Northampton Therapists pulled Clemente, Gooden and Boggs,
While Pedersejs looked for Banks in game logs;
Pennsylvania BCs brought McCutchen right back,
And Play at the Plates is looking for Palmeiro in packs.
ProwlingCats, RJBreezes, Saitama Sushi, how merry!
I wonder how many baseball cards they can all carry.
SoxFan4Life added Paul Konerko,
Kaline and Cobb belong to Stealing Home, though;
SuperduperMen gritting, gnashing their teeth,
As The Balking Dead sent up one called Andre Eth...ier; (haha, sorry!)
Thorzul hoped ruling with Yount, whose career was not smelly
Would give him the edge over Thoughts and Sox felley's. (again, sorry!)
But TSHenson had Feller and Cal Ripken all to himself,
And the Ventura County Royals took George Brett off the shelf.;
Wilsons winked an eye, Lou Brock at their stead
And McGwire and Musial gave other teams dread;
"David at Tribecards," we heard, "was ready for work,"
Busting packs all season long, please don't be a jerk,
And which players we'll pull, nobody knows,
But giving away cards, is the path that he chose;
He spends most nights and sometimes the day, til he hears the whistle,
Then shoots for the pack box like a guided missile.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he pulled packs into sight—
“Pack-A-Daily Circus is here, much to everyone's delight!”
*Forgive me if I missed any managers - you'll be in the next poem. :-)